Unfinished Symphony

There’s somewhere beyond this, I know. But I hope I can find the words to say..

Hi,

It’s been 6 days since I last write here. Hmm. A lot of things happened on that 6 days. Realized a lot of things. Maybe we’re not really meant for each other. Maybe I just have to agree with everything you said to me. A lot of MAYBEs. I don’t know. Well I think I just have to move on. This might be my last post. Hmm. I’ll always love you. :)

Elly

Let’s try to make this right. I need some of you in my life..

Hi Baby,

I’m too sleepy. (-_-)zzZ I woke up at 6am today and I did a lot of things. I’m so tired. I bought the book ‘Love In The Time Of Cholera’ and went to the hospital to visit my cousin and her baby. Ahh. I can barely open my eyes. Sorry but I’ll take a nap. Will continue writing later.  I love you baby! ♥

Elly

Nothing’s quite the same now. I just say your name now..

Hi Baby,

I woke up at 6am again. I don’t know why but my eyes automatically opens every 6 in the morning. Hmm. Anyway, I forgot to tell you that my cousin (Joan) gave birth yesterday. Well, we’re not that close but we used to be. I kinda dislike her. But of course, it doesn’t mean I have to dislike the baby too. He’s adorable. I love babies. I haven’t seen the baby yet. They’ll be discharged from the hospital tomorrow. Ahh! I’m excited to see him. I was babysitting Baby Kristel this morning. I love her! I always talk to her and she always smile or laugh and talk to me too like she was able to understand what I was saying. Ahh! I really love her! 

* This is my cousin’s little angel, Jericho.

* This is Baby Kristel. I love her!

So since I woke up very early today, I was able to watch TV shows I don’t usually watch. Well I was thankful I did. Learned something from those shows. So these are the lessons learned from the TV shows:

First TV show: It’s a kiddie show. They featured sports that are related to dance. One is ‘Capoiera’ and the other is ‘Synchronize Swimming’. And of course there’s a story telling. lol. Well the story was about a bumble bee with short wings so she can’t fly. She was jealous with her friends (flying insects) because they can go to different places and play together while she was left all alone. Her friends are teasing her because of that. But instead of putting herself down, she did everything so she can be able to fly. She keep practicing everyday. And then one day, to her surprise, she was able to fly. See,  no one has the right to tell you what you can do and what you can’t do. So all you have to do is listen to yourself and of course believe in yourself. There’s nothing we can do if we’re just going to have faith in ourselves. So we must stay away with those people whose pulling us down and stay with those people who help us to get to the top.

Sorry but I have to go. Mom called. Will continue writing later. I love you baby! ♥

Elly

I can’t figure out just what to do, when the cause and cure is you..

Hi Baby,

I can’t sleep. I think too much. I’m worried about you. I wonder what you’re doing right now. I wonder if you’re sad. I wonder if you’re still having nightmares. Ahhh! I’m paranoid! I sent you a voicemail. Sorry if I can’t help it. I’m too worried. :’( You are my weakness. I don’t know if you had put a spell on me. But I don’t want it to go away. Loving you makes me feel alive. That I actually have a heart. Because I’ve been acting like a heartless person for a long time now. I’ve never been this head over heels in love before. Because I usually use my brain more than my heart. And now, my heart is the only thing that’s functioning. And I don’t regret it. I need you and I love you baby! ♥

Elly

If loving you is all that means to me. When being happy is all I hope you’d be. Then loving you must mean I really have to set you free..

Hi Baby,

Uhmm. So I just knew you and Heidee are friends on Facebook. Maybe you thought we’re real sisters or she’s a family. But biologically, she’s not. She’s like a sister to me even though we haven’t seen each other yet. But I know one day we would. I told her about you and a little of what happened to us. So she told me that you’re ‘done’ with me. Maybe I’m just fooling myself that I can still have you back. That we can still get back together. Because you’re done with me. I’m just the one who’s holding on. Maybe I should give up now. I just want you to be happy. If that means I have to totally fade away, I would. It’s not easy to let go of my feelings for you. Because they’re strong and real. I don’t know what to do. *sigh* And I heard you’re sad. I’m worried. I wanna know why. But I know I’ll never get to. You don’t wanna talk to me. You don’t want me around and that hurts me. :’( I wonder what I did wrong. I just love you. Is that a bad thing? I’m clueless. You left me hanging. *cries* I can pretend that I’m happy. But nobody knows that I’m dying inside. You’re all I think of every second of my life. Please take care of yourself. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. That will hurt me. So please. If I could just take all your pain away, I would. I don’t know what else to tell you. I’m running out of words. I don’t wanna say goodbye. But you’re giving me reasons to do so. I’m confused. *sigh* I still love you baby. ♥

Elly

Baby please answer these questions..

Hi Baby,

I just got home. Had to see my dentist. Ahh! Going to a dental clinic is one of the things I hate. But I love my dentist. He’s nice. But I hate it when what he’s doing is painful. lol. And I hate that noisy device he uses. Grrrr. Well, my jacket fell off so he had to fix it. Oh I was so ugly for 2 days. I’m so thankful you didn’t see me without it. Oh well, You’ve never seen me. Hmm. I wonder if you’d like me when you get to see me. I’m not as amazing as you think. I got flaws. Well I’m not pretty, I’m not sexy, and I’m not the type that guys would like to date. And I’m not kidding. Sometimes, I would think, maybe the reason why you left me is because you’ve fallen in love with someone else. With someone you can hold or touch. *sigh* Ahhh! I’m paranoid! But that can happen. And I can’t do anything about it. But if that is something that would make you happy, then I’ll be happy for you. I just want you to be happy. With or without me. I don’t want you to get hurt. So be smart okay? Don’t let anyone hurt you without your permission. You deserve to be happy. Being happy is one’s choice. So be happy okay? I’ll be mad if you don’t. Ahhh! I wanna see you! I wanna see the most handsome guy in the world! lol. You are, for me. I don’t care if you’re in a wheelchair. That didn’t change anything. That didn’t change what I feel for you. Well I have to admit I was a bit surprised when I knew about it. But I don’t mind. I love you for who you are. Not for what you are. So you should love yourself too okay?  I love you baby. ♥

Elly

Have I ever told you how much you mean to me? Oh, you’re everything to me..

Hi baby,

I don’t know what to say. I just wanna write you. I wonder if I did make you feel how much you mean to me. Because maybe if I did, you’d still be here. But you’re not so I guess you didn’t know. Tell you what, you mean everything to me. The whole world can hate me but I won’t let you hate me. So maybe I did something wrong that’s why you left me. Maybe you hate me so much that you can’t stand having me around. I’m full of ‘maybes’. *sigh* How I hope you were able to tell me how you really feel. Maybe I’d understand why is this happening. But you didn’t. You just kept it to yourself. All I wanted is for you to be open to me. I’m here to listen. I’ll understand anything. I will accept even your biggest flaw. Because I love you. Don’t say you’re not amazing. Because for me, you are. And that’s all that matters. I’m going to bed soon. But not yet sleeping. I asked Sunshine (cousin) to sleep in tonight because I had a rib and chest pain attack this morning so it’s better for me not to be alone tonight. How I wish you were here. I wanna hold you while I sleep. I wish I could see you in my dreams tonight. I think that’s the only way for me to see you. I miss you so much and I love you baby. ♥

Elly

Before you tried, you chose to quit..